My normally Saturday contact doesn't come this week, and I do something I try my best to avoid. I check FB. He's at a concert with his wife. Within minutes, I find myself justyfing him going by saying he probably bought the tickets before him and I got together. What do I expect though? For him never to socialise with his own wife? Of course I feel a little upset but reality is setting in. I've though a lot today about how I feel, and to be more to the point how this situation is making me feel. I re-read all my messages from him, and there is a distict change in his tone towards me. Less caring.
What do I exect? I have lowered myself to a level I never thought I was capable of. I don't know what will happen at this point. I do know that for my own sanity, there will be no more "lunch" in the car.
When I finally get a message from FJ on Sunday evening, he says he can't start late on Monday. Rather than go into a panic that he has gone off me, I feel relieved.
Maybe I am strong enough to walk away. My emotions are all over the place at the moment so who knows how I'll feel when I actually see him.
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